just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
