When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
