Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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