did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
