At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
