I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
