can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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