you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
