Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
