ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
