jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
