did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
