Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
