There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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