He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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