Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
