Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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