he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've blown a few things in my day
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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