she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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