i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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