Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
