Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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