you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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