office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
