apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
