Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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