dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
