There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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