I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
