Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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