I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
