Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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