We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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