What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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