Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
