she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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