My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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