we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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