I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
