S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
