is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
