i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
