I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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