Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
