I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
