My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
