Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
