O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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