'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
