I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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