I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
