I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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