Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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