Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
