It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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