Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
