A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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