He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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