I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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